Twenty Years ago, Alpha and Omega

These photos were taken on our honeymoon at Mackinaw Island.  I met Sue while I was in High School. Sue and I worked together at Mc Donalds.  She was always doing homework and trying to be the best student in the World. I on the other hand was worried whether to dip my 6 piece nuggets in honey first, or sweet and sour. Why am I bringing this up, it  I am just babbling.  

Five years later I am on Leave from the Army, I just visited my sister Brenda in East town Grand Rapids, Michigan, I bumped across her again at Coopersville Mc Donalds, working behind the counter with her beautiful Big Hair and that wild baby blue Eyeshadow.  That event leads to this picture.

Sue and I are looking in the mirror were  newly weds, happy.  All we have is each other and probably the film in the camera, this is the beginning of our journey, or the Alpha.

The Economy is crashing, like ever body else I am worried about losing all of the assets Sue and I worked on over the last twenty years. Sue and I have three children, a car and a van.  The mortgage is not paid for, but I cannot complain, it been a good run. Everybody seems to be effected, through stress at work or at the kitchen table. Sue and I have to put our faith to to the test. 

I am listening to Buck Owens on Pandora the music website, contemplating the future.  I found this old photo in the shoebox in the basement. I forgot how happy I was with no job, for I just got out of the Army.  I had no house, we lived in a converted chicken coop on a farm in Coopersville.  We had no money in our 401K, no yard to mow,or house to maintain. We were happy with being together without possessions.

I am trying to justify a positive attitude for myself, or for others.  All I need is to be with my wife and our children.  I started out with nothing, maybe It will be taken away through bad health, lack of work or a bad economy. When it comes to our Omega I seemed happier with just a camera flash a Mirror and My wife Sue Twenty years ago. 

 

"Fragments" Julies first national publication in High School

"Images "North Muskegon High School Poetry Book

Julie was published in High School with her friend Mari Tyler who is a English Professor at Muskegon Community College. It is strange that the Co Author on her book of life is John Rybicki. They were working on A book on thier life together. I hope it goes well. He is working on it alone now. I BELIEVE THIS IS THE ONLY AUTOGRAPHED COPY AVAILABLE, GOD BLESS MOTHER FOR SAVING THIS.

Brenda Moulds, Jule's sister also was published in this book.

My Vegetable Garden " Julie Garden"

Last Spring my Sister Julie passed away. The last few years Julie did not have the time or the energy to write as in the past. For fifteen rears the Cancer chewed her energy and spit it out. I would call her up before I went to work in the evening and Julie would tell me about the flowers she had deadheaded, or the weed she'd pulled to edge of her employer's property. Julie could not make much money for she was on disability from her Cancer. MY sister's pre-existing condition of Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma cancer. After we buried her, I decided to grow a "Julie Garden", and in doing so, I learned many things, symbolic and through my taste buds.

We planted the garden where the Play set had been for nine years, and Sue my wife, and I carted ten yards of beach sand for her daycare while are children were young. The play set was a fortress of treated wood and plastic slides. The daycare was gone after nine years, and the children were too big to use the play set; so I sold it to my neighbor. Julie died of Cancer after that so I was inspired by grief and restlessness to start a garden. I used the neighbors Troy bilt red rotor tiller, and tilled the sandy soil, hoping it would be able to support a garden.

The first Spring rains on the plot were soaked up rapidly and I knew I needed topsoil. Work was slow and I had no funds, so I shoveled all of the good top soil from our compost area for many days, till their was six inches of top rough top soil.
I surrounded it with chicken wire, and felt satisfied with our work.

Picking what to grow in the garden was complicated. Sue and I bought a mixed assortment of vegetables, and planted them. Sue was a expert at planting perfect rows. I weeded and watered, pampered the sensitive plant's from frost and watched. In 1996 Julie gave me a copy of "Frog and Toad Together" children's book for her Nieces and Nephews. Toad talked to his garden, recited poetry and played music, I Imagined Julie was doing that from above, as I labored below.

     The Sugar Peas were the first crop, so sweet they never made it out of the plot. The Cucumbers were aw some, and we enjoyed the Veg tables during the bountiful Summer. I did not grow this garden to can, or supply food for the family; I did it to reflect on Julie's last few years as a Gardener.  Julie has been a Girl Scout Counselor- College Student-Stained glass Artist-Butter FACTORY WORKER and College Professor. The only thing she talked about was John, Martel, and Gardening.  I wanted to see her, feel her, as I toiled in the sour soil in my back yard.

     I took for granted the harvest as I watched the vegetables grow, reach their peak.  I felt that Julie was all around me growing up as the beans and peas, vibrant, beautiful. I never thought that harvest would ever stop. As Summer progressed, all the plants were tall and healthy as we are in our prime. Julie's plot, She could not control her own garden, it was infested with Tumors and disease. The soil was tainted, infertile as our beach sand. As I reflected in the "Julie" garden, realizing as she weeded the garden's in her last job, she could not stop the weeds and blight in her worn Body.

Hope College Opus Publications Julie

I enclosed a few photo's to show ever body Julie ten years before these publications.  We were a close family growing up. I think her writings reflect the chaotic loving atmosphere in the "Blue" house growing up. I believe this is Silver Lake Campground. I am scanning photo Albums for the family so I cannot help to add beautiful images of Julie before Cancer. I know she would want to be remembered for her words, actions and Love, not her demise.

HOPE cOLLEGE oPUS pUBLICATIONS

More Hope College Opus Magazine

Julie was in volved in the English Department Quarterly. Mother saved them for a reason," words out live are flesh and Bone." I miss you Julie.

Reading "I am Waiting" Tears me up. You almost think she had a vision of what is going to happen in her life.

Hope College Opus Magazine

Julie was involved in the College Poetry Quarterly, since my Mother saved them, here is the legacy. Here is picture at my High School graduation. Brenda and Jule both look beautiful around their favorite Brother. Julie was writing for the Opus Magazine I assume at this time.

Caleb is with Julie

My wife and I went to the funeral of a distant cousin on the Moulds side.Caleb Russell Genson was a Young man of 14. I recall hearing of the struggles he was having with a rare form of cancer. I was reminded of JULIE'S several rounds knocking the Cancer down for nine seconds in the ring and getting some remission. Caleb only had seven months to fight it.

I am blessed to have had 45 years with my sister Julie. I was gazing at Caleb's casket and saw this young root of a man. The Cancer had sucked all of the youth out of his body. I just could not fathom the suffering he had in his last days. Then remembering Ann Arbor Michigan, I was reliving it again. Hundreds of Mould's descendants crawled out of the woodwork for his visitation. The Moulds family always sticks together in times of crisis.

I have been waiting for the right time to write about this moment. Death is never the same twice. My wife and I remember seeing Caleb as a baby and a child at family gatherings. He was always happy and full of laughter. Caleb is a great grand son of my great uncle John. Uncle John has been on the death bed several times. John has had his last rights said to him three times I heard. I found it ironic that this hard living man, my dad's brother- uncle has too witness all this after he has been close several times.

Sue and I hugged Charlie Moulds his Grand father as we went to the visitation, the tears were overwelming, he gave me a squeeze I will never forget, I really think he needed the family their. Sue and I looked at the photo's on the wall and the video tribute on the screen. I could not stand up anymore.

I sat in the middle of the parlor listening to the sound of sadness and the felt at peace.

I was envious for Caleb's with Julie and all the other people who we love.. Maybe as we were on this Earth below, Caleb is with Julie and Grandmother and Grandfather, and all for the distant cousins as above. They are celebrating a new arrival without the pains of Cancer. We on this Earth feel the pain of Cancer, as we look at photos of those who have gone before us. I do not know what is worse , witnessing the slow fade of Death in are loved ones,or experiencing it.

SCANNING PHOTOS

I have been scanning photo's from my Mother's photo albums. I have only done two and and I am working on the third. My Mother would always take pictures, and we always thought it was annoying. Until now, I understand her obsession with it.

I was scanning photo's from 1974,1975 and 1979, and it was overwhelming. I forgot what it was to be a child, to be carefree. Tears would fall from my eyes as I viewed images of those who are gone. Tears of happiness when I looked at moment of family unity. My Mother and Father worked very hard . I have just started this process. I think Love can be measured in many things, Smiles, hugs, and sacrifice. People in this world are so focused on themselves,not others. Witnessing these pictures I realize how love for others is more important than self.

My Mother and Father took us on trips, and camping and other things. I forgot them as a adult. The photo realized how blessed I am, not how rotten my life is. The journey with my siblings and parents is documented on these black and white photo's and colored prints. My Mother would have her finger over the lens and snap out of focus. Is life supposed to be perfect and without mistakes. I savor the worn out images and memories of being with Julie and other passed away loved ones.

I remember the Good things now about Julie. I am forgetting the last six months of her slow fade into Heaven. We were so blessed to have are loved ones in what time they are on this Earth. I am blessed to see Julie Hug me or my sisters. To see her blow out her Birthday candles and too have been blessed with another year. I have witnessed My mother Love for Julie on her sixteenth birthday photo's. Angela is looking at Julie with a look of love no words could explain. I think its OK to cry and reminisce about those who are gone through photo's and video. Lessons can be learned as we view each breath and actions of those who are gone.

Julie in her choir robe, and her senoir band rositor.

Look at those Whitewalls, those shiny hubcaps, and a AM FM Radio. This is my first car, a 1978 Datsun 210 Wagon. Darren and I are washing it. I am in My Mc Donalds uniform,. The brown polyester suit.

My first car

I started working for Mrs. B when I was twelve. I wanted a car for my own some day. I would work at Mrs. Bruelbeck's at The Causeway Garden Motel every week till I was sixteen. I was a saver, I had goals,a car. Life was good for me as a teen, for I had work. Everyday I would Go to school, and work to save for a car. Being at the Causeway Garden Motel was a adventure, my boss always had stuff for me to do.

Mrs. B as I called her, was a immigrant from Germany and so was her Husband. She taught me how to work. When I would show up , I would have too knock on the back door. I smelled wonderful German Food cooking in the kitchen. Mrs. B would call me Antonioso, I think that German for Tony.

I had too eat a bag of salt to get her trust. Mrs. B was always a nice lady, but if you did the job wrong she would make you do it again, and again. I was a slow learner, but she had patience, I learned many tasks from that job. Julie was her name and she did not like to shop, so I did it for her. The Butcher Boy was across the street and she would send me over to get Veal, she loved Veal. I would purchase the expensive Veal, and proudly walk across the street and give it too her like a dog returns a paper. Mrs. B would say, their is too much fat on this veal, take it back. Walking across the street I would ponder at how I thought the prime cut of beef looked OK for me. I would have too argue with the Butcher Man who was insulted, by the stipulation he can't cut meat. I would return the meat to Mrs. B and she would tell me next time look at the meat before you bring it back.

The Causeway Garden was a Motel, I would mow the lawn, take trash out and all kinds of simple tasks. One day she let me into her house, the basement. I had to clean her basement. Their was all kinds of supplies,and wine. Oh my, I never seen a wine cellar. I would move boxes of wine from one end and sweep and wipe everything down. Mrs. B would go check on my work , and make me do it overt again, and again. I never had a boss, so I thought this was normal.

After I cleaned her basement, she would get me a sandwich from the Brownstone restaurant, they owned it. Mr B would get me coke Money from his pocket and I would feast on a wonderful baked German sandwich with a big pickle.I learned to do laundry and fold towels, and stock shelf's in the Motel lobby. Mr. B was a really nice man who would call me over without his wife seeing and tip me ten to twenty dollars in coins because his wife was so thrifty. I saw the game they played, it was wonderful.

The Motel was simple but it was always full, I think for many reasons. Mrs B always had a clean room, and she treated people as they were family. The office was attached to the Motel and the phone was always ringing, and thier was always something going on at the Motel. Mr. and Mrs. B were wonderful people. The day I quit to work for Mc Donalds was a sad day and a good day. The job at Mc Donalds payed twice as much, and I was gettting older. She taught me how to work and deal with different people.

The reason I wrote this was I saved for four years from working at the Motel, scrubbjng hair from the walls from her Beauty Shop, folding laundry, and returning many things back to the store she did not like. The day I drove too Fruitport and saw that Blue 1978 Datsun 210 Station wagon, it was all worth it. I understood hard work will get you things.

I paid my $1500 cash and drove my first car home. The car was a four speed and good on gas. I never was pulled over because I could never get to zero to fifty til eleven seconds. The four door wagon kept me out of trouble. The police were never going too pull over the family wagon. It also kept me from getting girls. I think that is a good thing now. A girl woud see my polished station wagon and never answer the phone when I called.

I folded many a towel, and took out a Ton of trash. I also ate a bag a salt one tablespoon at a time too get the trust of Mrs B. When I see this picture with my first car, the the journey too pay for it, is the best memory.

Andrew when he falls down, he always get back on the horse.

Piano Solo Ensemble

I drove my my son to Grant Michigan two days ago. Andrew has been playing piano for nine years. This is the third time we have done this. He is practicing as I write this. Chopin was the piece he was going to play. My son has practiced this piece all year,his piano teacher Sue has worked with him weekly.

Driving down the icy snowy roads in my Green van, he was focused on getting a one, or a blue ribbon. Andrew is a hard worker, and is determined too succeed. We make it a hour early and he practices on a digital piano, something he is not used too, seeing the frustration as he pushes lightly on the keys. I took him down and we had some Nachos and a Coke, he likes to eat, I thought it would help. I was the helpless one, I never played a instrument. Listening to him practice it always sounds good. Music is something everyone cannot play, it is a gift. I tried to give him some advice before the competition. I felt helpless.

The time for his judgement came, it was ten fifty. We waited by room four, till they let us in.Andrew practiced on the Baby grand, and I sat in a Middle school desk next to his band Instructor. The time to play was going to happen, and I was a ball of nerves. Am I a good father if he does bad on the recital piece? I can not even look at him as he plays, I am all nerves. The Judge says it is time to play.

Andrew started very well and as he played he started to get nervous. I was tearing up inside, for I have heard him play the piece much better before. After he was done the Judge was going to tell him his review. I looked at Andrew and he had this cold stare at the wall, he knew he could of done better. The Judge gave his review and he did OK, but he needed to put more emotion in it. Andrew never looked at the Judge he just stared at his disappointment at the wall.

I teared up, but composed my self. Andrew was mad, he wanted a one, not a two. I explained to him, that he worked hard, and should not be disappointed. My prayers are answered, for failure inspires him to work more. Andrew has been practicing harder, and is determined to play the piano. Andrew will get a one his Senior Year.

I am so proud of Andrew, he is like his Mother,he never gives up. They both work so hard to get where they are. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I give them both a one for their ambition in life. I am the lucky spectator.

Julies 16th birthday

Slumber Party at Moms House, Julies 16 birthday

Julie and John Rybicki's Wedding

These photo's are my Mothers. I see people that have passed away who are with Julie in Heaven.I see old friends and relatives. I see Love.

julie and Johns wedding