The day's are long and the positive is short. I have been gradually sinking into debt. To have had a nice paying job is a blessing and a curse. The summer was nice, and the children appreciated having their Father home for the summer.The big thing going on in the news is about health care , who gets it and who doesn't.
Yesterday I was cleaning the basement, and started to weep, I now have time to spend with Julie being laid off. When I had the high paying job, I worked, worked, and spent and spent. I would talk to Julie on the way to work pulling ten hour shifts and working weekends. Since I have been off work,She is not there to see. God's timing is terrible. If this happened last year I could of been with her as she danced, flailing her limbs,fists first,off this Earth.
Sue and I decided too do a remodel job in the basement, I borrowed some money, it keeps me busy, and the boy's will have their own room downstairs. Moving things I found a old birthday card Julie sent me. I read the words and cried, thankful for her words; sad for her end. Julie had to do all kinds of things to keep insured and fight the battle with Cancer. Here I am sulking today, thinking about the things I don't have, but after reading the card, their is more too life than stuff.
Monday I am going too Social services and fill out paperwork for Health Insurance for our three children.Do not feel sorry for me, this Country shares their sadness to others, those who have, do not worry, those without worry twice as much. I never heard Julie complain about her bills too much with her semi-cures and half doses of health.
I want to call her and talk to her, listening to her wave-like voice, telling me everything is going to be all right, over and over. Time is worthless if don't get to spend with people you love. My free time recently is useless without Julie. It does not go away, the ache, the chill the burning sense of missing those gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment