Faith-Julie Rybicki Moulds

I was at church today. I have doubts about Christianity. I am reassured of my faith though. At a class after church, I realized, were a set of chipped and flawed dishes. Misery sadness and doubt is part of my faith. Jesus is my only way out without self destruction.

Opening my mouth I cursed and embarrassed the group with my course tongue, I hope I did not offend anyone in my group. I have real bad ADD< I have a hard time reading, I can think and write. My absorbency of reading is like a stone.

I am bitter of people who can read and talk about God in a polished way. I am a pessimistic Christian. The glass is half empty because I am not worthy of the rest of the water.
Religion is so simple, but people make it so complicated.

 Julie lived her faith, never quoted a Scripture, threw the Jesus word around a statement. I miss her. Standard Christians were  and not like Julie. She was light in my darkness, salt in my flavorless walk.

Julie surrounded herself with relics of the Catholic faith. Mother Mary- Books on Saints- Crucifixes-Statues.
When she died I received her book collection on Christianity. She studied all faiths of Christianity. Protestant. and Catholic. Cancer and Christianity, that was her battle. I think all the materials surrounding her were their to steal and absorb her bad cells.

Julie loved God and Jesus and Mary.

She tried to make a deal.

Healing was the goal.

Now they have her soul.

While I toil below.

I read the whole blog.

Four years ago she died. Julie rybicki Moulds lived a full life. I looked at all the photos and poems she wrote her first 24 years of her life and was healed. I must remember her healthy life before I dwell on her last fifteen years.
Today Hannah my daughter will sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" with her ukulele, we will cry, and miss Julie.

John and Julie were blessed to have each other and we were all blessed to have known Julie. Easter Sunday is going to be a sad day. I will be thankful for the time I had with her. Learn from her life, follow her to Heaven.

Sue Brenda John Dave Angie and I miss you Julie. 

It's close. The End -The beginning.

 This Sunday April 8th I will celebrate Easter with my family. If you are a Christian, on this day Jesus rose from the dead, and saved us from eternal sin. I am not looking forward to this day. If you visit Julie's grave at St James Catholic Church in Montague,(I have a map to it in a previous post.) Their is a (station's of the cross)walking path less than 30 meters from her grave.
  Julie was a devout Catholic,she enjoyed the tradition and way it was presented. I will walk on this Folk-Art style path, and think of Julie, who is with Jesus. Angry at the reasons why she suffered,just like Jesus, happy she is in no pain eating chocolate drinking coffee spectating at my life as a Angel. I hear her saying "Go Tony your my favorite Brother" as I go to work in the Aviation parts  factory every night from 11pm to 7 am, the silence of the night only helps me hear her voice through the hum of florescent lights and the grinding if Nickel alloy parts.

Regardless April 8th is the day she stopped breathing from Host vs Graft, I am no doctor, just a witness of the cruel slow death. Jesus had a cruel slow death on the Cross,  Julie can have a discussion and compare notes with Jesus in Heaven.  All I know is at Mount Calvary Cemetery is a Box with her bones, she is not their just her Earthly  dust-bones. Sue my sister will pour coffee on her coffin from above through the grass. I will sprinkle chocolate on her grave, we will talk to her skeleton. I hope she sees us above, gets a laugh and continues on with a discussion with Edward  Lear, or Amy Walker her childhood friend,. Thier is so much to do in Heaven I assume. We are down on Earth toiling, trying to exist-trying to take care of our love ones. Should I be the envious one about Julie, I will never know till We see her again. Death is not supposed to be the end in the Christian Faith, but the beginning.